I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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