your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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