you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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