god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i just wanna soil my oats bro
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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