dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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