Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize