I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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