I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize