so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
