who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
