he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
