Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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