Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
is wine microwaveable?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
