While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
