i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You know, be my cock's hype man.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
