you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So much Jack, so little girl.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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