NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
