She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
