so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
