Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
