i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
