I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
