Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
