there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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