don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize