i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
