The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
