My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
