I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
