He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
