I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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