so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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