Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
