If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
