I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
