I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
