Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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