Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
