the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
