And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
