i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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