were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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