Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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