1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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