so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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