Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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