I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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