Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
