So drunk its hurt
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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