Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
