She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
