She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
