And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
