you guys were way drunker than both of me
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
