Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
