Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
