the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
