It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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