It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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