I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
