Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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