pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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