Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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