it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
