You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I want to be your penis for a week.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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